Is A Lack Of Self-Love Sabotaging Your Health & Happiness?

By Dr. Puja Shah

I love you.

You’ve likely lost count of how many times you’ve said it to the special people in your life.

But how often do you say it to yourself?

For too many of us, the answer is never: and according to both Ayurvedic and modern science, our health and happiness are paying a surprisingly high price.

Kristin Neff, a professor of Psychology at University of Texas at Austin, says there’s a tragic reason behind this common lack of self-love and self-compassion.

“I found in my research that the biggest reason people aren’t more self-compassionate is that they are afraid they’ll become self-indulgent,” she explains. “They believe self-criticism is what keeps them in line. Most people have gotten it wrong because our culture says being hard on yourself is the way to be.”

Imagine your reaction to your son or daughter who struggles with a school subject. Most parents would offer support, find a tutor or work with them one-on-one. But when adults find themselves feeling something similar such as struggling at work, they fall into patterns of self-criticism, which often stops them from gathering the motivation they need to fix things.

In a New York Times interview, Dr. Neff stated, “Self-compassion is really conducive to motivation. The reason you don’t let your children eat five big tubs of ice cream is because you care about them. With self-compassion, if you care about yourself, you do what’s healthy for you rather than what’s harmful to you.”

Everyone now agrees: tough love is not the best kind of love

According to research, people who practice self-compassion feel more joy, gratitude and optimism than those who are critical of themselves.

Yet it is not only modern science and research that backs this up: the ancient science of Ayurveda does too.

In Ayurveda, one of the goals for self-mastery is to join our little self (Jivaatman) with our true self (Paramaatman). It is a journey towards realizing you are worthy just the way you are: and that self-love and acceptance are indispensable keys to any healing journey.

If you need even more reasons to be nicer to yourself, here are some more ways self-love can change your life:

* You’ll attract more love. The Law of Attraction says you attract what you put out. The Dalai Lama says, “If you do not love yourself, you cannot love others.” And if you can’t love others, others cannot love you right back. It’s a vicious cycle that can be ended through self-love and compassion.

* You’ll be healthier. Research published in the journal Health Psychology found that building yourself up instead of tearing yourself down can lead to better health decisions. In other words, following your Ayurvedic diet, balancing your Dosha, and healing yourself, all start by loving yourself.

* You’ll be more resilient on the inside. Studies suggest that those who have higher self-love are less at risk for developing depression or even anxiety, (which plagues 40% of the U.S population).

* You’ll be more productive. Research suggests that self-love can reduce the stress that causes us to procrastinate, because it helps us recognize the downside of the habit without putting us in a negative thought spiral. This leaves us with greater clarity and momentum to focus on the task at hand.

So how should you practice self-love, according to Ayurveda?

Ayurveda offers many solutions, and here are some of my favorites:

1

Meditation: try focusing on guided meditations that focus on your self-talk and self-image.

2

Daily wellness rituals: from oil massage to tongue scraping to nasal cleaning, there are various ways to clear your body and mind.

3

Eating right: eat according to your Dosha, eat a balanced diet with plenty of fresh and whole foods, and practice mindful eating by savoring each bite.

4

Yoga and movement: physical activity leaves you glowing with enhanced circulation, greater flexibility, and stronger emotional wellbeing.

5

Get plenty of rest: get enough sleep, sleep and wake up at the same time daily, create bedtime routines, and remember to take breaks throughout the day.

6

Return to nature: take walks outdoors, practice grounding exercise, and remember to feast your eyes on the beauty of the great outdoors.

7

Give love: make time for your relationships, surround yourself with uplifting people, and show up fully for both them and yourself.

Join Us For Love Week: A Community Immersion In Self-Love

Starting Feb 14th, Love Week is a transformational online experience hosted by myself and my husband Amish Shah.

Every day for just 10 minutes a day, we’ll guide you through a video lesson that takes you through every step of embodying self-love for deep healing, holistic wellness, and stronger relationships.

From massage and cooking, to meditation and mindfulness exercises: you’ll experience Ayurveda’s best practices for self-love. And emerge with a power you’ll harness for a lifetime to heal, feel, and live better.

For Members

For Non-Members

About Dr. Puja Shah, Editor-in-Chief of The Natural Law

Dr. Puja Shah is an award-winning author whose 93 year old grandmother swore by Ayurvedic remedies and practiced yoga into her last days. And so while her education includes 9 years of medical training as a dentist, 3 teaching qualifications in yoga, and dozens of courses in meditation, it’s no wonder that she always goes back to Ayurveda. Puja harnesses Ayurveda regularly with her children and husband Amish Shah, Founder of The Natural Law.

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